Art of The Pickup
by spilihp17
Summary: A serial womanizer, Shikamaru, has gotten bored with the lack of confident women to spice up his conquests, but all that changes when he finally meets his match in the sassy blonde Temari who won't be bedded as easily. Modern day AU. ShikaTema
1. Chapter 1

**So this prompt is from a good friend and a great author mississippimudpiecraves. She insisted I write a story that entails Shika wooing Temari with chat up lines since I like to use them myself. Now while it won't be the main theme of the fic you should get to read quite a few of my favorite lines and maybe you can add them to your list. The content rating is T for now but may change to M later.**

 **I figured it'd be a nice late birthday present and she has also been pestering me to write it for months now. Also it's my first ShikaTema multichap.**

 **and for those of you that say "Pickup lines are bullshit; they don't work", I believe they work quite well for what they're meant for and that is to get the person to smile and it also works as a great ice breaker. Now without further ado; continue on to the story.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Parties were always a drag, parties hosted by the most energetic 23 year old in your group was sure to be nothing but a major pain in the ass. At least that's what Shikamaru Nara was thinking as he took another swig from his beer.

 _Clack._

'C'mon Nara lighten up a bit, it's your girlfriend's birthday. What's so bad about a party anyway?' Naruto said as he managed to hit the cue ball into the table's net.

'First of all Ino is _your_ girlfriend, I told you we have never dated. Secondly what's not bad about these parties; it's dimly lit, the music is too loud and clearly trash, half the crowd is drunk, I can see at least 3 couples that ought to be in a room, and there's no one even remotely interesting to take home.'

'Are you still in your post breakup hook-up stage Shika? Really? It's been 2 months, find yourself a nice girl instead of just messing around.' Ino said as she took aim for her shot.

'Don't listen to her man; Casanova never listened to his women, that's how he remained a player.' Kiba said flashing him a feral smirk. 'Seriously though; if you keep up your streak I would be facing some serious competition.'

'Really babe, what competition are we talking about?' The pinkette asked; clearly intrigued.

Realizing the grave he was digging he wrapped an arm around her waist before placing a kiss on her forehead. 'You know I was kidding babe.'

'Better be.' She said before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 'Besides, I'm sure there must be at least one girl that's caught your eye Nara. It is Ino's party after all; the place is swarming with models.'

'I'm not in the mood for that.' He replied as he pocketed another ball.

'Oh please tell us, what is the great Shikamaru Nara in the mood for?' Naruto asked as he rested his palms on the table edge.

Finishing his bottle of beer, Shikamaru took aim before pocketing the 8 ball. 'Someone that isn't easy.'

'That's got to be the most sexist thing I've ever heard and that's saying something considering I'm dating dog boy over here.'

'You love me nevertheless, _Woof_.'

As the group made their way from the pool table to the bar, the front door opened and two ladies walked in. On seeing them Ino shrieked, 'Tenten, you made it.'; which was followed by an equally high pitch shriek from the girl as they hugged each other and swayed from side to side.

While the group looked at Ino and Tenten, Shikamaru's eyes appeared to be captivated by a much better sight. Standing a bit behind Tenten was a girl with rich sandy blonde hair tied into four pigtails, she wore a black slinky cross neck dress that ended a few inches below her butt and gave a tantalizing view of her ample breasts.

 _She has a great body; she doesn't look malnourished like most of the girls at the party, and those legs, they go on forever, but what in the world is that hairstyle, did she just come from kindergarten._

The group left Ino to continue talking to her new guests as Shikamaru took control of the bar and began serving his friends and a few guests that came by. Sakura found a few old classmates and decided to go mingle with them.

'Kiba, did you take a look at that blonde chick, she's a solid 10.'

'I know. I swear if I wasn't dating Sakura I'd definitely chat her up, hey Nara you're single take one for the both of us and bed the blonde beaut.'

Looking up from the drink he was making he stole a glance at the blonde before focusing on the mix. 'Not interested.'

Naruto's jaw dropped as he and Kiba stared at their friend then stared at each other before staring back at Shikamaru. 'Are you crazy, you won't find a hotter girl anywhere else. What's wrong with you?'

'Like I said, I'm in the mood for something more challenging. I don't want to sleep with an easy girl today.'

'She looks like she'll be anything but easy, in the words of the great Nara, she looks _Troublesome_.'

'I can't believe I've to explain this to you Kiba. Okay first rule of finding someone that's easy, don't look for someone that's clearly standing out and don't focus on someone that's clearly not trying to fit in. They're either not interested or have massive confidence to be different and hence become the harder prey. Look for the girl that's you'd most likely miss on first glance but has an interesting quirk to themselves, giving us our Subject A. She is definitely good looking with a great body and face, my guess is she's most likely a model. She knows she looks hot but is always in need of someone justifying the fact for her because even though she seems intimidating on the outside she most definitely has low self-esteem. She jumps at the first person that shows her interest as she receives satisfaction from the fact that she is wanted, of course said admirer has to be equally good looking as like most humans with low confidence she is superficial. Not to forget her hair-do; an obvious method to subtly gain attention because she likes to be the centre of attention.'

On hearing that Kiba burst out laughing. 'Okay, I'm going to give you some advice from a person that's been doing this long before you were even sexually aware. That girl is one of the hottest 10's I've seen in my life. Now while you do look good, no homo, the chances of you even getting her remotely interested in you is very low. But since you seem so confident in yourself care to make a wager on it?'

'Oh, oh, I'm in. Also sorry buddy but I'm placing my bets on Kiba's side.'

'Wait I'm not finished, since you're so confident, we shall make it harder for you.'

'I'm listening.'

'You can only woo her using chat up lines.'

'What crap, chat up lines don't work.'

'My point exactly, but, if you manage to woo her using chat up lines; I'll get the famed Mei Terumi to model for one of your shoots.'

'Don't bullshit me, Mei is the most sought after model right now; even Ino couldn't get her to model for us and she is Mei's student.'

'Well you see, being a vet has its bonuses. Mei just so happens to owe me a _huge favour_ as she put it; for saving her _dear Chojuro_ , which is a pretty bad name for a dog.'

'Okay; as much as this goes against my morals, you're saying you'll get me a photo shoot with Mei if I prove to you I can take the blonde home.

'Pretty much.'

'Troublesome, I don't like betting on women's feelings but okay I'll make an exception this time. Hope you have her number on speed dial.'

'Don't stress, I'll give you a month to woo her.'

'Like I'll need that long.'

Looking to the left he noticed the blonde making her way to the bar with Ino and Tenten.

Grabbing two beers from the fridge he gave them to his friends before making his way towards the girls.

'Hello ladies, what can I get for you tonight?'

'Shika, it's been so long. How are you?' Tenten exclaimed.

'Not too bad; when did you get back from Suna?'

'We just arrived last night, oh by the way this is my friend…'

Before she could complete her sentence Shikamaru was looking straight into the teal orbs of the blonde.

'Hey, most people call me Shikamaru; but you can call me tonight. And you are?' with that he extended his hand out to her.

Both Ino and Tenten just stared at the blonde in horror.

Staring right back at him, the blonde looked amused by the slight smirk she wore. Without flinching she slung the strap of her clutch on her shoulder and replied; 'Leaving.'

And with that she spun on her heels and made her way to the exit.

Tenten unsure of what to do laughed awkwardly before hugging Ino and rushed after her friend.

'You're crazy Nara, you had to hit on her didn't you.' Ino said before storming away from him.

Retracting his hand he glanced to the side where his friends were shaking in fits of laughter while trying not to fall off the bar stools.

 _Alright blondie, you've piqued my interest. You're the first woman that hasn't jumped me at hello. Guess you weren't the easy type and something tells me we're going to be seeing a lot of each other very soon._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading the first chapter.**

 **Now this was written in 4 hours and is an AU so you may feel that the characters come off as OOC but I shall do my best to keep the characters as true to the original as I can. Also sorry if you don't like shika being a player, but it's kinda important he be so for the plot to work.**

 **Ofcourse some OOC is inevitable; it wouldn't be my own without it.**

 **Next chapter may take a while since i have finals starting next week.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Since almost anything is more fun that reading up cases and legislations for a Law final; here is chapter 2.**

 ** _BTW_ ; as I was writing this chapter I thought of a plot line that I really loved though it would make some big changes to the way the story unfolds. And since I can't make up my mind maybe you guys can help me out. I've created a poll with 2 options 'Plot 1' and 'Plot 2' which you can find on my profile (hopefully). **

**So Plot 1 is the new idea and will be filled with a lot more drama; Plot 2 on the other hand is much lighthearted in comparison but there will still be drama. I would really appreciate if you guys could take a few second out and vote on it for me.**

 **Also since it may get confusing I usually use Italics for thoughts; but in this chapter there is a kind of soliloquy and also a flashback scene.**

* * *

Changing into a tank top and a pair of shorts Temari crawled under the covers of her bed. Unlocking her phone she scanned through her emails before opening up messages. Just then the bathroom door opened and Tenten walked out with a towel around her head.

'Hey; all set for bed huh?' she said as she sat at her dresser and started drying her hair.

'Yeah; it was a long flight so I figured a little sleep wouldn't hurt.'

'Haha, I couldn't agree more.'

'Thanks for letting me crash at your place by the way; and sorry for taking your bed.'

Turning around to face her Tenten smiled 'Don't mention it; your boyfriend would slaughter me if I didn't take care of you.'

'He isn't that bad.'

'Please Tem; when you've known him for as long as I have you'll know all about his tantrums.'

'You have known him a fair bit longer than I have. Got any dirt on him that you haven't told me about?'

'I wish; never seen a more strait-laced guy in my entire life. Can't blame him though; his family values morals over anything else. I can't even remember him having any girlfriends before you.'

Temari just hummed in response.

'I guess I can't call him your boyfriend anymore. Isn't he now Mr fiancé.'

Smiling she kept her phone aside. 'I guess so; that's what the families are discussing at least.'

'Oh how boring; forget families. Run away together, do something cheesy like propose in the middle of a crowded street or a famous monument. You rich people have such boring lives _Families are discussing it_ it seems.' Tenten harrumphed.

Temari just laughed, 'Not everyone can live out their perfect fantasies like you Ten.'

'Well your emotionless, non-cheesy boyfriend arrives tomorrow from his business trip and you will get bored living in his lifeless dungeon of an apartment; so enjoy your stay at the lovely, vibrant and LIVABLE Casa de Tenten while you're here.' She said as she made her way out of the room.

'Goodnight Ten.' She called out as the door closed and heard a faint reply come through.

A few seconds later she heard her phone buzz and her front screen lit up.

 _New Notification: 1 Unread Message._

Unlocking the phone she clicked on the notification.

 _Missing you. Can't wait to see you tomorrow._

Sliding down her notification bar she muted her phone before placing it face down on the side table. Switching off the bedside lamp she pulled the covers over her head and closed her eyes.

 **. .**

After the blonde bombshell in the pigtails dumped him; the rest of the night's events went on exactly as you'd imagine.

After being outright rejected Shikamaru brazened it out by finding himself someone worth sleeping with. 10 minutes later he had found the best target; a hot brunette model in a maroon off-shoulder dress who was walking towards the bar.

 _The rules to attracting women are pretty straightforward; you have to keep the emphasis on her. Always keep her as the center of attention, never talk about yourself._

'Hi; what can I get for you?'

'Two cosmos.'

'I prefer bourbon but I'll have the cosmo just cause it's you.'

'Cute.' She replied chuckling.

'Who are you here with?'

'Just a friend.'

'And where is this friend at?'

'She had to visit the little girls room.'

'Perfect; so I have the pleasure of your company until then.' He replied as he gave her the drink.

'Guess so.'

5 minutes later the girl got a call on her phone; answering the call she turned around to find a lady waving at her before leaving with a guy.

 _The most important step when trying to take a girl home is being assertive when you ask her to leave with you. Don't 'would you' or 'shall we', take charge._

'Looks like your friend has found herself better company.'

'Rude.'

'I'm just kidding love. But since your friend has ditched you and this party is turning out to be quite a drag; let's get out of here.'

Raising an eyebrow she smirked at him 'Confident are we?'

'Well i was only voicing what we both were clearly thinking.'

Finishing her drink she got off the bar stool before looking at him, 'Where to?'

'Your place.'

20 minutes later the duo were at the brunette's doorstep as she struggled to get the door open with her mouth attached to Shikamarus.

30 minutes later she was lying on her back as their bodies moved in unison against each other till they were both spent and exhausted from the endeavour.

15 minutes later she was lightly snoring, cuddled up against Shikamaru. He had one of his arms wrapped around her as he stared at the fan rotating on the ceiling. Closing his eyes he decided to take a short nap.

30 minutes later Shikamaru opened his eyes. Turning to the side he stared at the green numbers glowing in the dim light of the moon.

 _3:32 in the fucking morning._

Groaning; he carefully pulled out his hand from under the woman lying beside him. Sitting up he looked over his shoulder as the woman's frame gently rose and fell under the satin covers.

Getting out of bed he pulled on his pants and made his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Moving to the living room he pulled open the blinds and stared out the window.

 _Hearing the door click shut he heard her voice echo through their apartment._

' _Shika; where are you? I'm home.'_

' _Here.' He replied as he continued to type away on his laptop._

 _Coming up behind him she wrapped her arms around his neck as she started reading over his work._

' _Looks like your muse has been taking off in full swing.'_

' _That's the thing about a muse; you should know how and when to tame her.' He said as he turned his chair around so that he was facing her._

' _Hi.' She said smiling at him._

' _Hi.' He replied as he pulled her on his lap and kissed her._

' _So tell me Shika…' she said as she took off her top. 'How does one tame a muse?'_

 _Smirking he ran his hands along the sides of her body till they rested on her hips._

' _Well it's all about timing you see.' He said as he slid a hand up her skirt till he was cupping her firm ass. Bringing his mouth close to her ear he continued. 'When your muse is in a good mood and feeling generous half the battle is already won, it's all about making her feel good and wanted now. Give her a bit of space to do her thing while you just assist her to develop it perfectly. But you have to take charge and fuel her with ideas which give her the motivation to continue.' He said as he nibbled on her ear while his other hand snaked up and massaged her breast eliciting a low moan from her._

' _See; if you play your cards right she'll provide you with the greatest feeling you could ever imagine.'_

 _Pulling him by his hair so that his lips were millimetres away from hers she exhaled. Hovering her lips over his she snaked out her tongue and gently licked his lips before grazing her teeth against them, 'Time to play your cards right.'_

 _Smirking he captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Firmly supporting her weight with his hands he got up from the chair, as she wrapped her legs around him, and made his way to their bedroom._

Sighing to himself he kept the glass back in the sink and made his way back to the room.

Returning back to the room he threw on his shirt and started lacing up his boots.

He felt the weight shift on the bed as the brunette woke up and pulled herself on her elbows.

'Leaving already?'

Turning back he kissed the girls forehead 'Did I wake you up. Sorry.'

'That's alright. I had a great time.'

'Yeah me too.'

Getting up he straightened his clothes before bending down and kissing the girl.

'Sleep well love.' he said as he grabbed his jacket off the floor and made his way out of her apartment.

* * *

 **So this chapter hopefully gave you a small snippet into their respective lives; and if you haven't figured it out there are 2 new characters that are going to be crucial to the story. I'll reveal them in due time so feel free to speculate until then.**

 **Also if you haven't already; please do vote on the poll or let me know your choice in a review. Cheers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. Thanks for voting on the poll. As per your votes; I'll be heading in the direction of Plot 2 for this story.**

 **Here's chapter 3 revealing mystery character #1; and with a fresh dose of pickup lines for your utilization.  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Unlocking the door he let her into the house before bringing their bags in. As she observed the living room he made his way to the kitchen which was attached to the living room. Returning back with a bottle of water he saw her observing a painting.

'Like it?'

Turning behind she smiled at him. 'Yeah it's really beautiful; you can feel the emotions the artist is trying to convey through his piece.'

'The curator said something like that too; though I don't get it. The artist is supposed to be really famous though; people would supposedly kill for one of his original works.'

'Sai right?'

'Yeah. Know him?'

'I've seen a few of his works. Nice guy, pretty down to earth.'

'Had an interview with him?'

'Yeah like a year ago. I must say your place is well kept; I'm impressed.'

'Well you'll have to thank the help for that. You really don't have to look for a place of your own you know. There are more than enough rooms here if privacy and space of your own is what you want.'

'I know. It's just that I'd prefer to have a place of my own over here. Besides once we get married I'll be moving in to this house anyways.'

'Temari Hyuga; it does have a nice ring to it.' He said as he smiled at her. 'Have you found any good apartments yet? If you want I could just ask my secretary to find you a good apartment that isn't too far away from here, would save you the hassle.'

'I actually have an inspection today; it's this apartment complex in the Senju district. I heard it's a good area with a decent crowd.'

'Oh yeah that's a great area, it's one of the posh localities and it isn't too far away from here. It's like a twenty minute drive. Want me to come with you? Let me know the time of the meeting and I'll see if I'm free around then.'

'No you really don't need to bother; I anyways got Tenten roped in to accompany me. You take rest; you just got back from Iwa as it is.'

Walking up to her he placed a kiss on her forehead. 'That's good then. Anyways; I'm going to go and take a shower. And seriously relax, make yourself at home. There's some food on the stove, I asked the chef to come in and prepare something for lunch, so eat it if you're hungry. Ask if you need anything else.'

'Don't worry about me Neji; I'm alright. I need to get changed and head out soon as it is; I told Ten I'd meet her in an hour for lunch before we go look at the apartment.'

'Okay, have fun.' He said before heading upstairs to his room.

 **. .**

 _It's been a long time since I've met the bugger. He's been so busy these days running his restaurant that he doesn't even have time to attend his best friend's birthday._ His thoughts were broken by a loud voice besides him.

'Man; I'm so hungry I could eat a whole cow. Thank god you and Ino are such close friends with the restaurant owner, he serves barbeque beef, I can actually satisfy my hunger.' Naruto said as he laughed at his ingenious sense of humor. 'It'll be good to meet him; it's been at least a month since I've seen him.'

Entering the café they made their way to the hostess.

'Good Morning. Table for two?'

'No; I'm here to register a complaint actually.' Shikamaru said as Naruto stared at him. 'You see I need to speak with your chef; he keeps forgetting to meet his best friends. Does he not remember it was I who endured his horrid cooking when he just started?'

'I'll tell Choji you're here Shikamaru. Want to wait at the bar while I get him for you?' The hostess said as she escorted the two to the bar. A minute later a big made man with a half beard made his way out from the kitchen.

'Shikamaru, Naruto. How are you guys? It's been a while.'

'It's your fault, do you know how upset Ino was because you didn't make it to her birthday yesterday.'

'Yeah I'm sorry about that. You know I wasn't in town; I had to attend a business meeting in Kumo regarding the opening of my restaurant chain over there and got back this morning. Hopefully she liked the flowers I sent.'

'Oh yeah we have a problem there too. You aren't allowed to send her a bouquet that's bigger than mine. I'm her boyfriend for crying out loud.'

'Seems like someone should learn to spend a bit more money.' Shikamaru said as he and Choji laughed at Naruto's expense.

'Well; I give her gifts that money can't buy. Ask the neighbours; they'll testify for me.' Naruto said with a wide grin as Shikamaru and Choji stared at him with an impassive expression on their faces.

'Okay okay, I'm kidding. You don't have to look at me like you want to kill me.'

'Alright, I need to get back to work. Grab a table; I'll make you guys something good.' Choji said, but Shikamaru's attention seemed to be on a table at the back of the café.

'Excuse me for a second.' Shikamaru said as he made his towards the sandy blonde hair tied in four pigtails that peeked out from behind the booth, while a confused Choji followed his line of sight.

'What's that about?' he asked a grinning Naruto who was looking in the same direction as him.

'Oh you're going to love this.' He said as he explained last night's bet to Choji.

 _It has to be her. No woman would ever tie up their hair in such a childish manner. Talk about fate wanting us to meet already._

Walking up to her he slid into the seat opposite her causing her to raise her eyebrow at his sudden intrusion.

 _She doesn't get easily perturbed. Interesting._

'Kiss me if I'm wrong; but I don't think we've met before. Have we?'

She smirked at his ingenuity as she placed her phone down on the table. 'Cute. No; I don't think we have met.'

'Perfect; gives me a chance to redeem myself. I'm Shikamaru.' He said as he extended his hand towards her.

'Charmed, I'm sure.'

'Isn't it only polite; to give your name when someone has introduced themselves.'

'You have a penchant for being rejected don't you? Well I guess it's only fair. I'm Temari but how about you call me never.'

'Ah so you do remember me.'

'It's not every day you hear a line as unique as that, I've got to give you props for that.'

'Thank you. So what brings you here?'

'Oh so now we're best friends that just have to know everything that's going on in each other's lives?'

'Yeah something like that.'

Laughing she took a sip of her water. 'I'm here to look for apartments with my friend.'

'Nice. It's a great locality and you'll have great neighbors. I mean I live here after all, what more could you possibly want?'

'I know, what more could I possibly want. I'm definitely moving here now.' She said causing a small smile to pull on his lips. 'What about you; just out with our friends?'

'Yeah, my friend is the owner and head chef here. Decided to catch up with him.'

'Oh, so you're getting us a free meal today huh?'

'Well if you give me the pleasure of your company during this meal, I could maybe pull a few strings.'

Just then Tenten came back from the washroom and was greeted by an interesting sight.

'Hey Shikamaru, what are you doing here?'

'Oh hi Tenten; so you're the friend I' assuming. I was just talking to Temari over here about our lunch date.'

'Oh it's a date now is it?'

'Well yeah; I naturally assumed that's what you were suggesting.'

'Ofcourse I was. How insensitive of me to lead you on like that.'

'Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble Shikamaru but we just finished eating and were about to head out.' Tenten said as Temari gathered her stuff and slipped out of the booth.

'Alright, well it was nice talking to you Temari.'

'Likewise.'

'Oh before you leave, my phone seems to be acting up.'

'Oh do you need to call someone?' Tenten asked as she looked for her phone through her bag.

'No; It just doesn't seem to have Temari's number in it.' He said as he held out his phone causing Tenten to roll her eyes.

 _This guy sure is persistent._

'I must say; your approach is quite refreshing however, I'm currently spoken for.'

'So what; there's no rule that you can't have friends if you're seeing someone. Is there?'

'Oh so you want to be my friend now, do you?'

'Ofcourse, was I ever implying otherwise?' He asked with a smirk.

'So friends ask each other out for lunch dates and hit on each other at parties too?'

'Yeah all the time. Don't your friends do that?'

'Right.' She said as she took his phone and started punching in her number, when she was done she pressed the call button and cut the call as soon as her phone started to ring. 'Friends only.' She said as she handed his phone back to him.

'I wasn't even thinking of anything else.' He said as he took his phone back.

'See you around Shikamaru.' She said as she flashed him a smile before she left and in that moment Shikamaru swore time stood still.

 _That's one killer smile you've got there Temari; probably breaks hearts everywhere you go._ He thought as he returned back to his friends.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, hope you liked it.**


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